There is something to be said about what happens when your expectation for something doesn’t meet reality. If these two were a couple I think we’d all be happy. Our expectation meets reality. End of story.
When rather that rarely happens. Whether our expectation doesn’t meet what we imagine, surpasses it, or turns out a completely new way there is something to be said about the beauty in accepting exactly what is.
What is. Recently I had a discussion with a friend of mine who I have known since I was a little girl. This friend of mine is older than me, has walked along this path called life a lot longer than me, and really understands me for who I am. With knowledge and experience she helps to guide me, encourage me and be there for me even though we don’t see each other as often as we would like to. She’s known the dream that I spoke about years ago, and believed in me when a lot of others doubted me. She taught me how to read and helped to uncover my passion to write. Not just there to celebrate the milestones, but being there between the valleys and mountains in all difficult and confusing times. I wonder what I would be like today if I never had known her. She knows exactly who she is.
She also was one of the first people I excitedly called at boarding school when I got my acceptance letter from UNC, and she is probably someone I will write a book with one day. What I value is our ability to have honest conversations without faking a thing. To lay it all down without the fear of being judged or unaccepted. I love and value friends like this more than they could imagine. Since you know who you are, thank you.
She suggested that when I go back to Ghana I should jot down just one lesson I had learned that day. It could be about anything. And I mean anything, and then I thought about what my daily lessons would have looked during those 7 first months in Ghana if I scribbled one down each day…
Take a bucket shower, or two or twenty and see if it humbles you
Learn to try new things, including foods like banku and fufu
Try eating with your hands, its not so bad 😉
Ask more questions
Use your words for good, to encourage and inspire to build and to communicate love
Working with kids acquires a lot of patience, like A LOT of it
Move to a new place, and see how strong you never knew you were
Appreciate the beauty in surprises
Appreciate the beauty in change
Spreading love is contagious, and it changes lives
You’ll never know how much you can learn from someone when you truly listen
Don’t place your worth on a feeling in a single situation, your so much more than that…
but I’ll stop myself there and save those for another day…
And on that day that I met with this friend of mine I jotted down this is my notebook.
It’s okay when expectation doesn’t meet reality. And when that happens it’s okay to accept it.
She shared with me a time in her life when she had to learn this by walking through something and understanding her expectation was in fact different from her reality. And accepting exactly what is was the beautiful part and knowing that it is okay when your expectation doesn’t meet your reality. I think this can applied to almost everything in life. There is something to be admired about finding peace in what is and being grateful for the walk through mountains and valleys, and moments in the pit where your really in the trenches.
Life can change in an instant, therefore your expectation does as well.
There’s another blog post in progress…
thanks for reading. More soon to come, but now I have some packing to do !
you are all loved,