here i will be, until he calls me to go

image2.png

It has been two months, since I have called this place my new home.

New York City

and until the Lord calls me out, or to go , here I will be, here I will stay.

I trust him, even when I didn’t want to,

getting to this exact point wasn’t easy.

From red dirt roads, to shining lights and busy streets, this is where I will be.

I too had to learn again to let go and trust him, even when it was really hard.

I remember saying “goodbye” to the kids until I returned a few months later, and will always go to and from Africa, but in that moment, on my end it was the closing of my year living in Africa. A significant and sobering moment for me. 

Holding myself together as the kids each wanted to roll my luggage and throw it into the back of the van. Climbing in asking if they could come with me to America. Holding onto my hands, wrapped themselves around me, goodbye. Looking into their little eyes, sparkling with life and joy, radiating light. Hearing their little voices say “Auntie Devon, when do you come back?” 

As hard and devastating moment that was, I saw a glimpse of why God even called me to this nation years ago. The prayers I prayed as a young child, each standing before me, a name, a face, a story, a salvation, a future. A nation changed stood before me in the form of young faces and bright eyes with hopes to become something they once never imagined. 

The faces of tomorrow, the dreamers, silence breakers, world changers. There they stood. God’s children who were once lost, and now found, there they stood. Healed and transformed through his love.

I caught a glimpse of this purposeful life I speak about, seeing a small bit of the fruit of a year loving on children who became my own when there was nothing I could offer but love, and knew that if this is all God had called me here to do, I was amazed, but I know there is more, a lot more! 

Being strong for them, waving to their little faces until the car drove up the hill and turned on the main road, I started sobbing the whole ride to the airport with my face cupped in between my hands. Gazing out the window to see the sun rise and give the orange dirt roads a golden glow, the very dirt roads that felt like home the first time I stepped foot on them 7 years ago. My heart was breaking, it felt like it was being ripped out and torn apart, telling myself this, God I trust you.

God I trust you.

I trust you.

I trust you with my life, even when it doesn’t make sense to me.

Trust you into the unknown.

I’d like to think I had a back and forth with God about this. I wanted to hold onto each and every memory and moment. Wanting them to last forever, which they will, but he needed me elsewhere and I needed to be obedient to what he was calling me, because there is NO place I would rather be than the center of his will for my life. That doesn’t mean easy, or it doesn’t make sense sometimes on paper, but if God calls, he needs our action, he needs our movement. He needs our yes.

So here we go,

Moving, again.

I went to Africa with this mindset. I will be here as long as the Lord needs me. It could be a month, it could be 2 years. Either way I am here until he gives me a clear signal that it is time to go home, until he sends me out again.

That sign, it came in July.

For months I prayed, and waited, waited upon the Lord wondering when he would answer this question. I felt overwhelmed, and didn’t want to figure it out on my own. I didn’t want to make a decision in my own strength. I wanted this to be clearly of the Lord.

I was in Kenya in July, that was a hearing trip for me. I heard clearly from the Lord it was time to now go back to New York City. This was confirmed by many others.

I struggled at first because I wanted to hold onto my time in Ghana, but I felt the grace that he had given me for this part of my life was lifting, it wasn’t as “easy” as it once was. I felt myself getting annoying sitting in hours of traffic just to get a simple task done, I found myself not being able to deal with the lack of power and constant humidity, when there were months I didn’t even think about it or seem to mind it. I started to get frustrated that I couldn’t just pick up the phone and hear my parents voices when I felt I needed to. These things that God had given me grace to was starting to lift. What that means is he is starting to shake you out of where you have been because he is bringing you somewhere brand new.

Somewhere different. I look back on those days, the most joyful and challenging days of my life. I know that was not something I did in my own strength, that was all his grace that was made perfect in all my weaknesses.

Grace is simply this, a simple person doing what they could never do through God’s strength. This is what it all comes down too. Grace.

So then what?

I bought my plane ticket and started to prepare for my last few weeks living there. This isn’t something I have closed the door on, in my eyes this is a season, a chapter that the most perfect author has written, God needed me there in that exact time frame for a reason, he was preparing me for where he has placed me now, and until he calls me to go or move, here I will be, waiting and trusting his ways are higher than mine.

I had different things presented to me but I felt strongly that New York City was where God was calling me. That is all I knew and I trusted him.

There was a time where I really reconsidered not coming back, and staying there. My love for the nation and children hasn’t left, the calling is still there, but I want to share with you a little secret, you can be called to Africa, and that calling doesn’t mean you have to drop everything and move there forever and ever and ever( and if you do that is wonderful too)  you can be called to Africa and never even step foot there, but God has placed a burden so strongly on your heart where even your prayers are changing nations and people’s lives.

Callings look so different. Don’t think you can’t be called somewhere if you don’t permanently move there. I think of people like Katie Davis, who is called to Africa, I think of my dad who has never lived there but has a strong calling placed upon on his life with a heart and burden for orphans in Africa. I’ve learned that those burdens and hearts are the fathers, he gives us his heart for what breaks his, and he will give you a heart and burden for what he needs you to do, because if you weren’t moved, you probably wouldn’t care, and not caring is not doing or taking action! So God calls to different nations and cities and places, because his light needs to shine in the darkness! He needs to reach everyone, so we all have a heart for what he has given us! It is a blessing 🙂

So, I really had to trust him with what he was calling me back to. I needed a heart for this new place, this new city, I needed a heart because I know He is always going to use you wherever he sends you.

Last year, I was in the city, and said to the Lord, “God if I never get to live here, its okay, I surrender even this dream to you.”

Here I am, a year later, and NYC is my new home, I love following his steps, he never gives us the full picture, but he calls us, and he wants us to step out, again and again and again.

I think about all that God has done in my first 2 months in the city, and I think about how I would have missed out if I choose in my own strength to stay. I know God is growing and expanding this to change even more lives both in America and Africa and beyond for his glory.

So right now, on this day, he needs me here in NYC for such a time as this. There is a lot that I will be praying about to share with you!

If God is calling you and he only gives you a little bit, take it and trust him for the rest. I love how grand things can only start with small steps of trust and obedience. Big things never start with big things, they start with small steps and complete trust in who is directing their steps!

Obeying his will and knowing our father has the best for us in mind, better than we can imagine, even when we aren’t sure. It is easy for us to doubt but when God says go, we go in his name! Because when we know who our father is, we trust him with our lives.

“See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:19

 

Have a wonderful weekend

you are all loved,

Dev

 

 

One world, one people 

 “Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens your faithfulness, to the skies.” Psalm 36:5

These past 2 weeks in Kenya have been life changing. From working in the slums + hanging with orphans in Nairobi to traveling far to this remote Maasai Village, I discovered something worth sharing. Somewhere between sharing meals and meeting amazing people living their day to day lives while exploring this country I was able to realize this.

Our similarities are much stronger than our differences. When we choose to acknowledge this we become an unstoppable force of community + love and see ourselves as a united world rather than divided people groups. It’s known that when we come together as one, as a untied force we become unstoppable in the pursuit of working together towards a common goal.

Rather than judge or perceive others to be different based upon the clothes they wear, their economic status or level of education it’s more important to see and connect with their hearts + souls and listen to their stories and learn from them, and connect on our similarities. Choosing to respect differences and see them as beautiful.

This photo was taken hours after 2 rhinos walked by this Maasai Village. And while not one of the people from this village seemed to notice, I was so excited experiencing a everyday “norm” that was so different than my day to day life.


This village has no electricity + running water and I felt like I had moved backwards in time I was still able to connect and appreciate the beauty of this simple lifestyle, and bond with new friends over dreams they had for themselves and this village. I got to speak with Maasai around my age that were schooling in Nairobi, one studying engineering and the other agriculture. They spoke about their dreams to return to their village after college and make a difference there by uplifting the community. 

We are citizens of not just our homeland but our world. We are all one, when we start to realize that we can push each other to dream bigger dreams, live with meaning and serve others with purpose and love each other the way we’ve never loved before. When we see ourselves as one world we see ourselves as one people, and someone’s dreams+ hardships become as important as your own. God created each of us unique and special, we are his handiwork which he created for good with works to be done in advance. When we love ourselves, we must love our world because we have a commitment to make to the people around us that we all deserve to be treated, seen and valued as equals.

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10

“So now Faith, Hope and Love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13


“The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.” John 1:16

will you not forget the forgotten.

12:50 am, a little past my bedtime. late night blogging = the best blogging… sometimes, I’m trying to be brave + going out on a limb here + share some thoughts, hopes and new dreams…this late at night, can you tell I can’t sleep + have something on my mind? i’m deciding to overcome my fear of being judged of sharing my heart by knowing this.
there is something powerful that happens when people unite, things change, and our world changes too. and if i care enough about this, then someone out there does too
ref·u·geeˌrefyo͝oˈjē/
noun
plural noun: refugees
  1. a person who has been forced to leave their country in order to escape war, persecution, or natural disaster.
    “tens of thousands of refugees fled their homes”

What is a refugee, what does it feel like to be forced to leave your country? What does it feel like to live in a constant state of fear of a war, a bomb, hunger and the displacement of friends and family members. What does it feel like to run away from home and never look back? What does it feel like to have your family killed by evil people? What does it feel like to see your home burned or destroyed to the ground? What does it feel like to have no one show up for you? What does it feel like when other countries don’t want you either? What does it feel like to watch thousands around you die? What does it feel like to starve to death? What does it feel like to be persecuted for your faith, what does it feel like to be a forgotten people group? What does it feel like to be a forgotten person? What does it feel like to be a refugee?

Maybe you want to click away, maybe this is going in a different direction than you thought. And that is okay, I am not pushing any political views or opinions. I am simply sharing the deepest burdens on my heart. I am just sharing my vision I have for the future. I am just sharing hope in knowing among this evilness,  God still reigns, and God can always interfere in a bad situation, that God can turn things around. That God can bring rain to a dry wasteland. From my heart to your screen, I’m sharing something very different today. And different happens to be a good thing from time to time. 

These questions weigh heavily upon my heart as I sit behind my screen reading stories from different ongoing civil wars around the world that have left millions of innocent people misplaced, forgotten and in severe devastation.

I am not sure what I can do. My heart says go, but I know this is not a logical answer at this exact moment. Sitting on my bed writing this blog from a safe and comfortable place not living in fear I want to do something. I don’t want to just sit back and not do anything. So I’ll write, and spread awareness in hopes that this ignites the interest of one other heart, we we can join our hearts and pray for these nations experiencing this together in Christ.

I wish I could show up and be there for them, to listen to their hardships to provide them with a meal, to show them love. To show them that they matter, and that I care about what is happening in their life. I wish I could physically hug them, or hold their hands and give them promises of hope, unspoken promises of a change in their lives. I know I can pray and I will be praying for these people all around the world who suffer hourly, who live in fear, and who struggle to keep themselves alive.

Refugees are people like me and you. They are no different, we are all people. We all deserve to enjoy the same rights no matter where we are in this world. We don’t deserve this, and we shouldn’t allow it to happen in this day and age.

What has caught my attention and has weighed so heavily upon my heart, which brings me to tears and I am not even sure why is what is going on in South Sudan. But it has truly been on my heart, for some reason I love this place and I believe in these people. I want to see peace and I want to see victory for them.

A year and a half ago I felt a burden on my heart for this country and have since been praying that one day things will change. Because we serve a big God who turns things around, and makes the impossible possible.

The world’s newest country, a place where civil war has been going on since 2013. More than 3 million people where half are children are displaced and scattered throughout Kenya, Uganda, Ethiopia and Somalia. I pray these people feel accepted in their new home, isn’t that what we all want. To be accepted and to be wanted. Imagine not being wanted anywhere.

This civil war is not just fighting, it is forcing their own people to leave.

This is a humanitarian crisis. The UN is calling for 1.4 billion to help restore and create programs for the South Sudanese people. Thousands of civilians are being killed for their ethnicity or perceived political views. Schools, hospitals, clinics have been destroyed and abandoned.

People are fleeing from their own homes, from their own countries. Where is their hope, what is their outlook on life? How can they have hope when everything around them is so dangerous, violent and uncertain?

And we have to do something. We have to use our voices for these people, because we are all one, we are all people, and we should all care. 

We have the ability to use our voices through social media connecting the world and making it a much smaller place. It’s a dangerous and cryptic divide of the advantages and disadvantages the internet creates in our lives. But I know for a fact that millennials have experienced what no past generation has before, and I believe that if we come together in a common cause we can make a difference. It has been done before and it’ll happen again, and I pray it happens for South Sudan in our lifetime.

Maybe this means nothing to you, maybe you don’t think about refugees often, or South Sudan, or other countries that are struggling to find relief or solutions for corrupt and unjust situations. And that is okay I am not urging or telling you  what to believe in. I’m just using this space to share the thoughts that keep me awake at night. The dreams of one day going to a place like South Sudan, or the hopes that one day things WILL change. Not only here but other suffering and forgotten people groups around the world. For the unreachable, for the forgotten.

I believe in a day where South Sudan will have peace, I believe in a day where South Sudan will have just leadership and I believe that in the 21st century we shouldn’t allow mass famines to happen, we shouldn’t forget, what if we were forgotten?

If you feel led would you join your hearts with these people, will you remember to pray for them, will you not forget the forgotten in South Sudan. Would you hope for peace to rule over this nation sooner than later.

We are the world, we are created for a purpose. I believe we all have a similar purpose to stand up for humankind, I believe that we were created to love, serve and be evolutions of change and innovation. Let’s make this world a better place before we leave it, let’s unite our hands and hearts together. I hope this inspired just one of you. Let’s make a change, let’s be the change, let’s be changed.

your heart + their hearts = one united people 

Be the change = be the changeD

Romans 12:9-13

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

 

Thanks for reading, 

you are all loved,

Dev